Reading that article now, I remember so entirely how I felt reading it for the first time over ten years ago. Feeling simultaneously understood and defensive, my own feeble version of feminism challenged a little by some of the extreme statements and specifics of this author. In part, I can see that this is a symptom of my own indoctrination at the hands of 'college socialisation', but on the other hand... I do think that I (just me... not everybody) had a different experience of college than many other women, and that maybe, in some very minor respects ('deck chairs on the Titanic' minor), our college was ever so slightly different. I do feel I have to reserve a special sentimental spot in my heart for college because it gave me you... and you... and lots of other worthwhile people and experiences.
Firstly, and I invite response to this, I didn't feel that our college had a 'fuck-a-fresher' culture exactly, though I concede there was certainly a feeling that a new batch of first years brought new blood...but for everyone. For a group of a hundred or so sociable people who had lived closely and intensely for at least nine months, we were both keen to see who was next to join our social spiderweb and worried about the threat they represented to it. Weren't they just a bunch of new faces coming into a world that lived so like family in some respects that any relationship was tantamount to incest?
As you(se) know, I heartily agree with the assertion that outdated college norms are handed down from one generation to the next, completely independently of, or even regardless of, progress made in the wider community. That people (men?) reinvented themselves in the image of their college seniors is also not going to get an argument from me: the descriptor 'Hell Men' is so easily replaced with 'Top East Boys' as to not warrant any further comparison. But I am challenged a little in that these people were my friends, and I did feel that the 'brotherly' protection offered was genuine and that I (personally) did not hand over any sexuality, feminist belief or independence at the door to gain their respect. In this, I feel a little self-conscious: it feels like shaky ground because I suspect that my loophole was that I was adopted as 'the honourary bloke' so therefore not seen as a 'woman' per se. And that perhaps I was too guilty perpetuating the regime myself, a regime that I was comfortable in, to see what was happening to other women. My experiences as a woman at college are not necessarily the experiences of other women at college.
I also don't feel that the comments about eating disorders was particularly relevant at our college... but at the same time... why was there even an expression 'B... H... Butt'?
And a final mention for the Indoor Sportsman and Sportswoman of the Year. Weren't they both revered and disapproved in equal measure regardless of gender? Wasn't the man actually considered a little pathetic for 'trying', which we all know is not something that was to be admired by our generation? Was it maybe just that the woman didn't particularly like to be identified for that? Regardless... how horrible that we did that... and found it funny?!? Yes... we really were out of step with what was acceptable behaviour and got away with murder away from public scrutiny, didn't we?
College... I loved it... I hated it. I got out, just like the article said, when the gloss wore off and it was no longer fun to be living under such scrutiny and in such an outdated patriarchy. But in truth (self conscious truth) I was cooler at college than I ever was before and ever will be again, and it is hard to not have some sort of sentimental attachment to that. It made me... until it didn't and then I got out with just enough sting in my tail to reject it without rewriting history to delete the good things entirely. Were I a different person, the experience could have (would have?) been completely detrimental.
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