The truth is that i never got as far as the question mark... or even the 'a' in 'start'. When you start to type that question into Google, you find that the path has been paved by multitudes of other Jane and John Citizen's suffering from some sort of self indulgent malaise. I am not the first to think 'perhaps personal satisfaction will come from writing to... you know, people'.
But to kick off, my kindly listeners numbering none, try it. Open a new tab, write in the Google box 'how do I...' and be amused by what those people out there are searching for. Any one of 'what', 'why' and 'when' will deliver a similar glimpse into the global psyche, especially when followed with an 'I' as soon as sentence structure next allows. I think of a 20 year old man... let's call him Dylan for the purpose of this exercise... sitting in front of a computer in the library at uni (he doesn't have a laptop because he is from my era of university... before wi fi). He has an assignment to write, but his stomach is in turmoil after a stodgy college meal of sweet and sour pork; all vinegar, pineapple and onion. As he chews the end of his bic, he absent mindedly types into Google 'why do I fart so much?'.
I can also see the intolerant little 14 year old girl in her bedroom (with so much wi fi you can almost see the particles of information flying through the air) typing in 'why do indians smell?'. I assume she means Indians from India and not Native Americans. What's more, I think she is just talking about the Indians you might encounter in the supermarket in conservative largely caucasian nations because i don't feel in my heart that she has travelled to see the Indians in India and is querying the smell of poverty... or the Ganges... or humidity and accompanying sweat. I haven't been to India either, but I've read 'The God of Small Things' and seen 'Slumdog Millionaire' so I'm pretty sure I get it. Taking that into account, I feel no need to continue her search as I think 'spices' and some sort of explanation about perspiration and pores should be all the answer she needs.
But sitting amongst all these questions is the most peculiar 'why do i have green poop?'. I have no picture of the enquirer... just the enquirer's poo...
But to kick off, my kindly listeners numbering none, try it. Open a new tab, write in the Google box 'how do I...' and be amused by what those people out there are searching for. Any one of 'what', 'why' and 'when' will deliver a similar glimpse into the global psyche, especially when followed with an 'I' as soon as sentence structure next allows. I think of a 20 year old man... let's call him Dylan for the purpose of this exercise... sitting in front of a computer in the library at uni (he doesn't have a laptop because he is from my era of university... before wi fi). He has an assignment to write, but his stomach is in turmoil after a stodgy college meal of sweet and sour pork; all vinegar, pineapple and onion. As he chews the end of his bic, he absent mindedly types into Google 'why do I fart so much?'.
I can also see the intolerant little 14 year old girl in her bedroom (with so much wi fi you can almost see the particles of information flying through the air) typing in 'why do indians smell?'. I assume she means Indians from India and not Native Americans. What's more, I think she is just talking about the Indians you might encounter in the supermarket in conservative largely caucasian nations because i don't feel in my heart that she has travelled to see the Indians in India and is querying the smell of poverty... or the Ganges... or humidity and accompanying sweat. I haven't been to India either, but I've read 'The God of Small Things' and seen 'Slumdog Millionaire' so I'm pretty sure I get it. Taking that into account, I feel no need to continue her search as I think 'spices' and some sort of explanation about perspiration and pores should be all the answer she needs.
But sitting amongst all these questions is the most peculiar 'why do i have green poop?'. I have no picture of the enquirer... just the enquirer's poo...
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